It's raining men - Hallejulah

I thought it would be fun to take a trip down testosterone lane. Here you will find my first crushes and then some. I don't want to hear any negative comments about any of my men, leave them be, I know they have all run into some rough spots, but I don't care, so shut it.

Ahhh Donny. My girlfriend would tape his picture to her face so I could pretend to dance with Donny, I think I was 12.


I danced in my cousins living room to the velvet voice of Bobby. I wanted to have his children and comb his hair.


Travolta before the Scientology, bad hair piece and Oprah gigolo was the shite. I was mesmerized with his hips in Grease/SatNightFever. Here he is in Urban Cowboy looking very un-cowboyish.


Harrison my love. Han Solo, Lost Ark Raider, I wanted to lick all his wounds clean for him. Why are you with Olive Oyl anyway?


I think I saw this movie 5 times. I would have worked extra secretary hours at the Joseph Smith Building just to hire this particular gigolo.


I loved this Mad Max. Mel is still hot, even if he does rant drunk against Jews, I have forgiven him.


Where has this man been hiding? He is hands down the roughest, toughest, badassed 007 yet. Just look at him, you might need to view him like an eclipse through a small pin hole, careful, he has burned my retina's before. A shout out to Malia for my Christmas present, a picture book of this God.


...and the best for last. Chris and I recently discussed Owen via cellphone for 45 minutes. Watch for him in the trailer for "Elizabeth" he never disappoints. I would like to caress his body with perfumed oils.

Mr. Everything

I would like to introduce you to my husband Tim, aka Lt. Badass.


Here he is in 5A high school where he was a little thing called, player of the year.


Tom Cruise? No this is my husband playing football for GCC.

Here he is surviving on sand and cactus juice because he was a Jarhead, a Devildog, a Marine.

Now he wears these on his chest. He still holds the record at the Police Academy for most push-ups done in a minute, suck on that Cruise.

He uses this Glock to kick ass and take names.
He serenades me with easy pieces, here is his current one, Rachmaninoff.

Here he is playing Solitaire, relaxing, after a tough day of stomping the lungs out of bad guys.

Ya, that's right I sleep with 911. Love you baby.

Give me some "Lost" stat.

I'm sick of reruns and bad TV, I found myself the other night watching "Hey Paula." Has anyone seen this? Like this was going to be the show to redeem herself, she cried through 30 minutes of something about being cancelled and then yelled at her staff for interrupting her crying.

I'm eating my weight in ice cream and soft batch cookies I'm so bored. I don't know what to do with myself, I walk around in circles talking to Fatness in my cat voice (its really high pitched and only he can hear it) then I go into Tim's office and watch him play Solitaire, or "Solitary" as he calls it, then I start flipping through channels, pressing hard on my remote, willing it to find me something good. I've started watching those cop detective shows where the murder was never solved, I'm losing my mind....

I hate the summer.

For you, Malia

I have been tagged by Malia and requested to give you 7 fascinating items regarding me.
1. I love to laugh. I love people that make me laugh, which brings me to
2. Chris, Erica, Griffin, Alli, Mike R., Malia, my brother Brad and Tim (not on purpose) all make me laugh hard. I don't like unfunny people or people who think their funny and their really not.
3. I like to clean. My mother told me the last time she was at my house "I think you have the cleanest bathroom I have ever seen, I like to use your bathroom." Her comment was manna to my ears, is there anything better than a shiny floor and the smell of orange oil on wood?
4. I LOVE HGTV, no seriously, if I could climb through my t.v. I would and then I would follow around the people on "Mission Organization" they go into horrible messy homes and help them get rid of all their shite and design new organized rooms for them, I get weak and high with happiness when they reveal the final project.
5. I LOVE MOVIES and award shows. Waiting for the Academy Awards all year is my Christmas. I try to see every movie nominated and become giddy watching the red carpet parade. Erica and I have vowed to see that red carpet in person at least once in our lives.
6. I have a disproportionate love of the feline. Cats do something internally to me, when I see Fatness in all his hairy glory stretching, yawning or coming out of his cat nap comatose state, I know that God created the perfect species.
7. I have saved the bestest for last. I love to be with my family. When I am with them is when I feel my best. Griffin and Erica next to me brings me joy and pride, they are 2 of the best people I know. Tim is my amazingly talented husband, there is nothing the man can't do. The word over-achiever is meant for him. He spoils me and buys me nice jewelry too.

ERI and ZACHS

Posh and Becks, so what?



Ok, Ok she's got style, he's athletic and rugged,

















But America has ERI and ZACHS

I, ROBOT

A robot may not injure a human being, or, through inaction, allow a human being to come to harm.
A robot must obey the orders given it by human beings except where such orders would conflict with the First Law.
A robot must protect its own existence as long as such protection does not conflict with the First or Second Law.

Meet Isaac Asimov the quintessential author, who in his lifetime wrote over 500 books that enlightened, entertained, and changed Science Fiction forever.

He was the brilliant mind behind the "The Three Laws of Robotics" and the "positronic brain"

1.A robot may not injure a human being, or, through inaction, allow a human being to come to harm.
2.A robot must obey the orders given it by human beings except where such orders would conflict with the First Law.
3.A robot must protect its own existence as long as such protection does not conflict with the First or Second Law.

These 3 laws leave enough ambiguity for interesting stories. A few family members have chuckled and scoffed at my Asimov novels. (Erica, Mike and Chris) maybe they should put their magical Potter books down long enough to read some real (Science) fiction.

Middle name, Joanna.

Dear Jen,

I don't like you. You lost Brad, no surprise there. Let's break it down, you are an insecure horrible actress. Every role you have ever played was some sort of variation of Rachel Green, you tried to become a serious actress when you took the role in “The Good Girl” what a joke, you just frowned more. Is it any wonder that Brad left your A for the mystical goddess Angelina? I ask you? Angie knows where Thailand and Cambodia are on a map. While she is toiling away in these countries passing out vaccines and money to her people and children (yes, Jen the icky ones with flies in their eyes) you are skipping along Malibu beach holding hands with Courtney Cox Arquette and her weird husband discussing whether or not you should go lighter on your highlights.

My Angie is a globetrotting ambassador for the needy, she gave birth for Brad and takes care of 4 children while flying her own plane, she won an academy award without even trying. You, my friend are a hollow woman, the only thing holding you up is Smartwater and your spray on tan. You have a weird shaped jaw line and your hair is the same since you made that huge, scary move to cut it short, then cried for 6 months about it. My Angie sheds tears, yet strangely not over her hair, but the horrible, inexcusable treatment of children all over the world. Please do us all a favor and move to the United Kingdom where your new Brad-look-alike boyfriend resides because you aren’t fit to be Angelina Jolie’s shoehorn.

Good-bye Dad, for now.

Dear Dad,

I will miss you.

I will miss your whistle as you came through my front door, I will miss your wisdom that has navigated me through life, I will miss our long phone conversations, I will miss your arm around my shoulder.

If you were sitting beside me right now, I would hold your hand and look into your warm eyes and tell you: "You are the greatest man I will ever know."

Love,

Shell