New Moon

My sister Chris knew someone who knew someone who somehow acquired a theatre for a pre-screening of the movie "New Moon."

Me and my bitches will be seeing the movie Thursday eve, we even get assigned seating.

I'm anticipating a mediocre film, with cringe-worthy dialogue and horrible CGI werewolf effects. It will be fabulous.

2 Reviews

In honor of Veteran's Day, Tim and I watched "G.I. Joe Rise of the Cobra" Tim likes anything military, I like anything involving Channing Tatum possibly removing his shirt.

The movie was utterly ridiculous and completely awful. Not even 5 seconds of a shirtless Channing lifting weights helped, nor did a Wayans brother pulling faces. Here is some commentary during the viewing:

"Since when did the military allow goatees?"

"Well that was a Star Wars rip off."

"How long is this movie?"

"Isn't that Sienna Miller wearing a wig?"

"There goes the polar ice cap."

I can assure you, our commentary was more interesting than the movie.




I read this book solely based on the fact that I saw the trailer for the movie and it will be starring Channing, Channing in swim trunks on the beach, and a lot of syrupy love.



It's about a single father raising a sort of rebellious son, who eventually joins the Army when he realizes he is a bit of a loser and going nowhere in life. He meets a very Christian girl at the beach during one of his leaves. They continue their relationship through a series of letters and short visits.

Nicholas Sparks never writes a happy ending, "The Notebook" ends with Gena Rowlands living with no memory and thinking her children are strangers and dieing on a twin bed with a man who she doesn't even realize is her husband. "Message in a Bottle" ends with Kevin Costner lost at sea and "A Walk to Remember" ends with Mandy Moore dieing at a young age but marrying right before. "Nights in Rodanthe" ends with Richard Gere dieing while getting to know his son in Africa on a mission or something, and poor Diane Lane waiting for him to come through her door but instead is greeted with the son informing her Gere died in a mudslide.

I'm done with Nicholas Sparks.

Pearls of Great Price

Over the years, friends and family have given me advice periodically, some good, some bad, some that has stuck with me for many years.

I share these pearls of wisdom with you.

FATHER:
"Wear nice clothes when you go to the department stores, you get better service."

MOTHER:
"Never leave your husband for more than a few days. I never did."

LDS CHURCH INSTRUCTOR (female):
"Always wear just a touch of make-up to bed for your husband."

LDS CHURCH INSTRUCTOR (male):
"Let any final decision be made by your priesthood husband."

PAST GAY BOYFRIEND:
"Everyone should own at least 3 Judy Garland albums."

TIM:
"Most people don't know shit from Shinola, trust no one."

OLD BOYFRIEND:
"Never mix beer and wine."

CAT GROOMER:
"Give your cat space and quiet to adjust to his new cut."


And there you have it, any and all advice one will ever need to lead a happy productive, fruitful life.

I would enjoy hearing any pearls of wisdom, family and friends have bestowed upon you.

A Study in Contrasts

Tim's work area:
Papers, books and research regarding his current doctoral classes in Administrative Leadership. Serious papers with titles such as "Creative and Critical Thinking."




Michelle's work area:
Laptop web browser opened to Perezhilton.com, several periodicals themed around movie stars, gossip and fashion. 1 Diet Coke, 1 vampire novel.

Confusing Halloween

I came across some "vintage" Halloween pictures of Jeri, Allison and I. I have no idea what or who we are supposed to be.

All wearing cut-offs, long-johns and stockings over our faces? We are in Allison's living room and apparently very proud of our confusing costumes.


Tammy Faye? Hooker? Primary President?


Jeri and I are in my Mother's glasses, Allison looks like a young Marilyn Monroe or Ellie Mae Clampett, I'm wearing awkward shoes and cut-offs. I have no idea.


Perhaps Allison can shed some light on this nonsense.

Kritten Time

This is utterly ridiculous and I watched every second of it.

Only a genius (Japanese) would sit and feed a kritten with chopsticks.

My Fountain of Youth

I finally persuaded Timothy last week, to go with me to Lowes or "Lowells" as he calls it, to purchase my fountain. The perfect place was awaiting its arrival.

After a brief discussion--argument over which one, he wanted the hideous Southwest weird tilted stacked pots one--and I wanted the dark 3 tiered tasteful one. Let's just say I won.

We put it together without incident, which in the Hampton household is nothing short of a miracle.


Here she is:



I chose plants that like part shade, for which they thanked me. I think they are called "New Guinea Impatients" and they are lovers.



I added all this lovely granite. I worked for three hours, shoveling it from the side yard, hauling it in a big bucket and carefully spreading it. Where was Tim you ask? at work, praising God, he didn't have to do it.



I added a few stones in the basin for interest and because HGTV would want me to.



This is the ugly one, Tim wanted.



I love my fountain, I love sitting in my dining room with the window open listening to its happy bubbly voice.