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Happy Birthday to my sweety today. I love him for so many reasons:

He is handsome, smart, dedicated.

He still has very nice muscles.

He let's my feline fetish flourish.

He is a great leader to his 320 police officers.

He is a great dad.

He spoils me.

He lets Fatness sit on his lap.

...and no one can pull off white athletic socks and slippers like he can. Seksi.

A Study in Contrasts

Tim's work area:
Papers, books and research regarding his current doctoral classes in Administrative Leadership. Serious papers with titles such as "Creative and Critical Thinking."




Michelle's work area:
Laptop web browser opened to Perezhilton.com, several periodicals themed around movie stars, gossip and fashion. 1 Diet Coke, 1 vampire novel.

Girl TV

There is nothing I love more than some really good (and by good I mean bad) girl TV. "The Bachelorette" "The Bachelor" "My Antonio" "Design Star" any Lifetime movie.

For the most part Timothy turns his nose up at my choices in TV, however, the other morning I was watching "Project Runway" on my DVR when he joined me on the sofa.

The following were serious commentary from my gun-toting-four-letter-word-spewing husband:

"I hate that purple."

"Oh, it's been out there before."

"You can't fake that shit."

"I bet they get rid of the prom dress."

"I don't like it."

"She's not creative at all."

I sat silently in stunned amusement, nodding my head in agreement with his very astute comments.

A Travesty

I was having a perfectly lovely Saturday evening, finishing up my third True Blood novel and munching on my Hershey's Special Dark Chocolate bar when my good mood came to an abrupt halt. I heard Tim answer his cell phone in his office.

Tim: "Well thank you!"

Tim: "Thank you, but no I will have to turn you down."

Tim: "I've just got too much on my plate. Thanks again. Good bye."

I inquired as to what that was all about and this was his response:

"Oh they just offered me first car in the President's motorcade tomorrow."

"AND YOU TURNED THEM DOWN!?!?!?"

"Michelle, I am way too busy with homework."

"TIM, YOU MEAN YOU COULD HAVE BEEN IN FRONT OF OBAMA IN HIS MOTORCADE?!?"

(getting annoyed with me)

"I'm way too busy."

(me, trying not to hold his gun to his head and make him call that nice person back and accept his nice offer)

"AND I COULD HAVE RIDDEN WITH YOU!?"

"Probably."



I was furious. Effing doctorate homework! I could have been staring out the rear window at Obama and taking all kinds of pictures!

...and then he said:

"I already did this for Bush and I like him better anyway."

I'm starting divorce proceedings today and I told Tim he will never be forgiven.

8 Years Ago Today.

I married Timothy Hampton.

He proposed to me at my work. My boss pretended that we were having a gathering and as I was standing there waiting, I looked up to see Tim walking down the hall carrying a dozen roses. What a loves, he even got down on one knee.



We got married at the courthouse then went to the Hilton for a lunch.



We stayed at the beautiful Royal Palms in Scottsdale. This is one of my favorite pictures of Tim, isn't he handsome?




We took our kids with us on our honeymoon. We rode together in a van to San Diego and Disneyland. I wouldn't recommend anyone taking their kids with them on their honeymoon.

Here is a typical picture of what our girls endured. The boys sat in the back playing video games and giggling the entire 7 hour trip.



Erica enjoyed making them pose for awkward pictures.




Look how happy they are.



I consider myself very lucky. I'm loved and taken care of. Timothy says I'm really just spoiled but we won't bother with semantics.

I told Tim that a few of those 8 years really count as 2, like any marriage we have had our share of rough spots. We never gave up though. A second marriage is a combination of melding a family and a whole lotta patience and not having your way.

Tim, thank you for being the type of husband that I respect and can lean on. You are loved and admired by a whole precinct full of cops and that counts for a lot. It's you that your kids always turn to for advice. You have the kindest heart and the gentlest of souls.

We were out to dinner a few nights ago, when you looked up at me with emotion in your eyes and said "the best decision I have ever made was marrying you." That meant everything to me.

I look forward to growing old with you and I love you more every day.

Pump Master 760

Pump Master 760 is no rapper, it's Tim's latest toy, a pellet gun bitches.



A pellet gun to kill pigeons. He picked up this little baby at Wal-Mart today and couldn't wait to get home for some target practice.

This is called "sighting in."



Proudly displaying his accuracy at 25 feet out.



Check it. 3 to the "ten-ring." Right to the heart in cop-talk.



Checking for pigeons. He told me he would wait until nightfall, then "kill the bastards."

(This might be the best pic ever taken. Tank top, cargo shorts, mandals)



Ammo.



Adios effers.

Annoyed day 2

Saturday Tim came down with a bad cold. So what did I do? I shared food with him and a drink using the same straw because I never get sick. Right now, my head feels like it is going to combust and someone stuffed 500 Styrofoam peanuts up my nose. Tim instructed me to look up symptoms of the Swine Flu, we have ruled that out for now.

There are certain people among us that I wish I would never hear from or see again in my lifetime.





Could someone push them into a volcano.

The Luck O The Irish, or Tim's Birthday

Happy Birthday Sweet Husband o' Mine!

I love you for many reasons of which I shall list.

You have character and muscles.


You are cool under stressful situations, like running a precinct of 325 cops.


You are a badass.

You love Fatness but won't admit it. But you do love Fatness.


You love and support my children in their endeavors, both financially and emotionally you are there for them.


Tim, you are the most talented man I know. I love listening to you play the piano, I love to hear you sing, I love our discussions, I love hearing your passion for police work, I love how you encourage your children to just be happy and do their best, I love your appreciation for the arts, but most of all I love your gentle spirit and kindness.

Happy Birthday Timothy Dan.

Happy Sabbath

For my church today, Tim sang for me (unwillingly), the song is "Exalt The Lord"

Commander McLovin

Timothy was on the news again last night. This time the story is about how Tim brought together the pastors of Maryvale to work as a unit to help fight crime. He would be the first precinct commander to think of doing this and then actually implementing it (that is the hard part). He is attacking crime at every angle he can think of and I am proud of him.

Here is the link, then click on the right hand corner for the story.

Thought: maybe Tim should give pastors their own 9mm glocks?

Tim on TV

Last night Timothy was featured as the lead story on our local ABC news. He was very good on camera and used big words.


The reporter, did a segment on his crime suppression programs in Maryvale, which before Tim arrived had the worst crime in the state of Arizona. But since he and his officers are kicking ass and taking names, the crime is going down.



The reporter was very cute.


Camera guy.


If you want to see Tim on TV click on this link and go to the top right hand corner and click on the arrow.

New Blog

Timothy has started a blog, one might call it a tad more cerebral than mine, um, a lot more cerebral, he is calling it "Commander's Point of View."


Here he is doing what he does best, playing Chopin in a tank top.

Poly Blend

Tim and I were driving home from Prescott last Sunday when he said something that chilled me to my bones. I was minding my own business watching my “Friday Night Lights” 2nd season DVD on my portable player when Tim glanced over at me and said without humor, “what are you doing, wearing your mom’s shirt?” I gave it a 2 Mississippi while I took this all in, then I told him to “shut it.” I tried to go back to my football players but couldn’t concentrate anymore, so instead I did a mental checklist of what constitutes a “mom shirt.”

Poly/cotton blend, check.

Ugly flowery pattern, check.

Sensible neckline, check.

JC Penney purchase, check.

Erica would hate it, check.

Apparently the mom math had added up, making Tim correct. When I got home I tried calming my nerves with 2 rails of Skittle dust snorted through a bendy straw and reading my US Weekly, but I was still unsettled. I went upstairs and flung my mom shirt to the floor and found a shirt Erica would approve of. Tim had ruined my Sunday and not in the same way a 3 hour block of LDS church used to either, no he reminded me that I was beginning that slow metamorphosis into my mother, who by the way, never met a polyester she didn’t love.

I give you the accused:

Mr. Fix-it

My palms were sweaty even before we climbed into the truck to make that ill fated journey to Home Depot, you see, our bedroom toilet was making that leaky noise that one can't ignore. Tim perused the tank pieces hanging before us in the plumbing isle and proclaimed "we will just change the whole thing out." He might as well of said "We will chisel Michelangelo's David out of a 25 ft block of margarine." So began the journey of the leaky toilet, to which my Patriarchal Blessing had fortuitously warned..."and you shall marry a man that believes he can fix shit, but he can't."

Here is Tim as he begins the taking apart of the tower and this is also where the cursing started.



Notice the 5 ft instruction sheet with its 39 steps is no where near Tim, also notice all the moving parts. Keep in mind the only thing leaking was one itsy bitsy rubber flapper. I left tip toeing out of the bathroom hoping Tim wouldn't hear me.



I got to where Fatness was also trying to hide when I heard Tim yell "where did you go?"



Let's just say at this point 60 minutes had gone by and things weren't progressing. Tim deduced he needed to make a trip back to Home Depot. I've decided that one trip to Home Depot when fixing anything is a fairy tale.


We are now at a brisk 130 minutes and this is what I'm still seeing from my vantage point.



Against my better judgement I gently queried a "hows it goin?" My answer was a sort of grunt followed by a mumble.


Later Tim proudly announced "it was fixed." Ahhhh, yes, I got ready for bed and slept happily knowing I would wake to a working toilet. The next morning as I was rubbing the sleep from my eyes and thankfully using my working toilet, I gave it a good wrist flush, and heard nothing but a clanking chain and a hollow tank. I lifted the lid. No water in the tank.



I asked Tim the next day after work when he was going to fix the toilet, he said "I don't know."

THE 2nd COMMANDMENT

"You shall not make for yourself any idol, nor bow down to it or worship it."


My sweet husband, Tim gave me this idol last Saturday that I slightly worship. We were at Arrowhead mall and had split up to do our Christmas shopping for each other. I was secretly hoping that he would find himself in the new Coach Store picking me out a handbag.


He called my cell phone and told me he was having a hard time picking me out a Coach purse and would I mind if I picked it out myself? My Criss Angel mind bender had worked. I told him I suppose I could muster myself up off my comfortable, yet germ-filled mall chair and mosey on in.

The Patchwork Holiday Duffel....aaaah.




...and the spoilment of me doesn't end there, just look at these 2 presents he beautifully wrapped himself just for me.


I love Christmas.





Let us all have one more look at the glorious handbag.

Mr. Everything

I would like to introduce you to my husband Tim, aka Lt. Badass.


Here he is in 5A high school where he was a little thing called, player of the year.


Tom Cruise? No this is my husband playing football for GCC.

Here he is surviving on sand and cactus juice because he was a Jarhead, a Devildog, a Marine.

Now he wears these on his chest. He still holds the record at the Police Academy for most push-ups done in a minute, suck on that Cruise.

He uses this Glock to kick ass and take names.
He serenades me with easy pieces, here is his current one, Rachmaninoff.

Here he is playing Solitaire, relaxing, after a tough day of stomping the lungs out of bad guys.

Ya, that's right I sleep with 911. Love you baby.