This Is Why

There is no one that bitches and screams more than I do in the summer. I'm like Faye Dunaway in "Mommy Dearest" except that I don't have her eyebrows, on a side note, Erica reminds me often that she hates her eyebrows "I got your eyebrows mom!" Sorry daughter, sorry that you didn't get my midget hands and thick calves too. I digress. I detest the summers in Phoenix, there is no relief from them, day or night it doesn't matter. You wake up sweating and go to sleep sweating, you can't touch your steering wheel and you hunt for pockets of any type of shade in parking lots like dehydrating lions in Africa. The thought of going anywhere in the middle of the day brings fear into your soul. You literally live in catacombs called the mall and movie theatres, central air conditioning becomes your only friend. Summers here are not for the weak.


Which brings me to why I love Phoenix in the winter. Yesterday, I walked out to my orange tree in my backyard and instructed Tim to pick me 2 dozen shiny oranges, then I skipped back inside and made myself a fresh glass of the sweet elixir. That picture you see are my oranges! Aren't they beautiful? In the front yard grows the finest navel oranges in the land, sweet as honey. I have flowers blooming, birds chirping and green soft lawn with bright blue sky overhead. Sometimes, when I watch the news and see poor folks struggling in snow and sleet, I feel guilty for my abundance of perfect sunny weather, and then I think "eff them" I put up with degrees in triple digits 4 months of the year.




Kristin said...

Oh, they look wonderful! And I am so wanting some warmth up here. Currently it is 22ยบ. But having lived in Vegas, I know summer is almost not worth it.

Can someone please win the lottery and pass out enough money that we can all have a winter home and a summer home? I'll take mine in Kauai and Seattle.

allicat said...

Your orange look beautiful... I'll bet the smell and taste even better. I do love fresh citrus. But even though it is colder than normal here irght now, I don't think I could trade in my spring bulbs (already peeking out of the ground!) and temperate weather in for desert heat....

I would like my own, private swimminmg pool however. Yes - time for a lottery win.

So happy to see your potted plants happily full of color again. They looked so very sad last summer.

Erica said...

So true. I wish I could spend every day, all day, outside right now. In fact I was demanding a picnic date from Zach the other day. (will never happen.)

lol to you instructing Tim and skipping back into the house.

Erica said...

Maybe I complain about my eyebrows because after swimming at your house one day (hence no eyemakeup) you said to me "WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR EYEBROWS? DID YOU BLEACH THEM?!"

Chris said...

Yeah yeah yeah, winters here are fantastic. You can eat fruit right off the trees and everything.

What I REALLY want to comment about is your sidebar: Hello. I live in the land of EXTREME HOTTTNESS and brillinace that is Supernatural. I'm sorry I integrated you and Caca (with unsightly eyebrows,lol) into that world with the Drano-swilling demon-hunter scene, Ms. Asimov. :P

((They just lost their completely brilliant producer/director (who also was behind X-Files)to lung cancer yesterday so I am v. sensitive about my show today, sorry))

Baby Drake said...

Did you post this just to rub in how miserable and cold it is out here in PA right now? 24 degrees this morning! Ugh, damn you and your oranges.

Ashley Rae said...

Wow- those oranges are perfect. Seriously perfect.

And did you post this with the intention of pissing me off? Well it almost worked. I'm so angry with the 25 degree weather here. My car door was frozen shut- I had to climb through the passenger door.

Michelle said...

lol to all comments.

No not trying to piss anyone off, I wish I could fly you all in to lounge by the pool with Fatness and I and sip Orange Julius.

Chris, it was a serious mistake to integrate Caca and I into SuperN. with the drano epi.

Caca, I never said that.

call me said...

Your trees look amazing!! Now that I live in Utah, I appreciate more than ever the Arizona winters. In fact I returned back to the beehive state bragging to all my friends how I basked in the 78 degree sun. Side note, let's get real, Arizona doesn't have winters. Other side note, I once had a conversation with my Mom and listened to her complain about how cold it was, I interrupted her with Mom it's freezing here! She responded with, well there's the wind chill factor. I wasn't aware there was a "wind chill factor" in Arizona! Yes, I've become an ice queen.

Michelle said...

You were kind to listen to your mom complain about the "cold." lol there is NO wind chill factor. You know you are a spoiled Arizona brat when you say things like "whaa the pool is still too cold" in January.

acaseofcot said...

I just spent a fair amount of time catching up on first seat, first row and I have revisited the same conclusion that I come to every time I read it....MIchelle is hilarious, I see where Cacas gets the wit.
Thanks for another episode of pure entertainment.