1.28.2009

Statue Cat

Preamble: I can't help that I love cats, they get a bad rap, and they shouldn't because well, they should be worshipped like biblical prophets of yore.

A new neighbor moved in next door, a single lady, she looks like a rougher version of Stevie Nicks, because she wears flowing gypsy skirts with scarfs and has long unruly hair. Anyway, I decided I didn't like this neighbor because 1. I often make horrible pop judgements. 2. She didn't take care of her backyard and 3. She was weird. And Then. I saw her cat. Tim and I were minding our own business doing yard work, when I decided to mind my own business and peek over her fence to see if she had cleaned up her backyard, and that is when I saw HIM. He was Persian, with long grayish whitish fur, staring right back at me, like a statue cat. I was in love. I peeked over later and he hadn't moved. I yelled at Tim to come see this creature, and Tim fell in love too (we'll pretend he did). There was something about this cat that was hysterical too. His face said to me "you are a worthless human, get away with you, good day." From then on it was my mission in life (albeit not the same as my youth mission to New Mexico that I hated). No this mission was very important, I need to see this cat again! 4 weeks went by with only small sightings by Tim, who would see Phantom Cat in the early dawn or I would see a fleeting snippet of tail go around the corner. I was determined to get a picture. 2 days ago, I walked past the Stevie Nicks Gypsy house with my mail when I caught a grey smashed-in-face-fluff-ball out of the corner of my eye, it was HIM! I ran home with the mail, ran inside to get my camera and then like SWAT snuck slowly slowly up to him, I was able to get one picture and he was not happy with me. For your viewing pleasure here is Phantom Statue Cat.



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11 comments:

Kristin said...

"You are a worthless human, get away with you, good day."

Yes, that is exactly the sense I'm getting from him too.

allicat said...

I love him.
I love this post.
I love that you used the word "yore."

Ashley Rae said...

Biblical prophets of yore? LOL.

Phantom cat looks beautiful. But Fatness would still conquer all in a beauty contest.

craigthegrey said...

He has demon eyes... I swear to god, he has demon eyes...

Chris said...

I think statue cat is actually 'Jacob' from Lost....

Erica said...

Thank you for this post. Statue cat is the BEST. I remember when I first spotted him over the fence and we thought he was fake because he DOESN'T MOVE. We kept saying, "Wait he moved!....No that was just the wind blowing his fur."

Lana said...

Okay, when you say "youth mission" do you mean Mission-mission? Like the little black name tag mission?

Michelle said...

Lana, yes and no. I don't know if the church is still doing it, but they would let the youth go on these sort of summer missions and live with the full-time missionaries. I only went for a couple of months to Farmington, NM. We didn't get the fancy name tags the full timers wore, we got the xerox copied ones.

Lana said...

I don't know why, but I find that hillarious!

I know I don't REALLY know you, but I feel like I do, (in the same way i know, like, Brad & Angie or Anderson (Cooper))

But I just kind this bit of info priceless!

LOVE your blog!!!!!!

But I must confess **tiny little whisper** I'm not a cat person. (Although I do still get a kick out of Fatness and all your antics with him!)

PA-lurker said...

Just like Allison, I loved the use of "yore." But what really made me laugh at 6am when I read this post was (just like Lana) the youth mission.
Michelle, this is a topic rife with potential for a blog entry. I must have your take on it sometime in 2009.
And for Lana, Anderson Cooper is gay, but you knew that. Ask for my almost personal testimony of his gayness.

acaseofcot said...

I love you and your blog. The end.