New Year's Goals, are overrated.

Instead of depressing myself with a list of ridiculous unobtainable goals that will be forgotten by Jan 19th, I'm patting myself on the back with my "no sweat" list.

1. Will not secretly harbor a crush on the oldest Jonas brother.

2. Ignore comments from my Mother about how she heard my blog was "offensive."

3. Take less pictures of Fatness and more of humans.

4. Coax Tim into starting "Bring Your Cat to Work Day" at the precinct.

5. Try not to use my high pitched cat-voice when talking to Tim.

6. Will not use guilt-laced sentences to lure Erica into coming over more.

7. Will not freak out when Griffin leaves for Germany in 2 weeks.

8. Will not scan the Internet during work hours for new pictures of Hugh Jackman and Clive Owen.

9. Less PerezHilton and more Politico.

10. Will sink to my knees in relief, on January 20th, when Obama is sworn in.

11. Continue with the belief that trans-fats have nutritional value.

12. Will dial back the 5 a day diet Coke habit.

I do feel my list is complete and obtainable. I don't need anymore guilt about exercising more, being more compassionate, ignoring the doorbell when the missionaries are knocking, cooking more, watching less TV, cursing like a sailor in bad traffic, eating more whole grains, thinking my co workers need brain implants, no I don't need any more guilt, that's what being raised in a legalistic religion supplied.

Happy New Year.


KmS said...

I think that it is an amazing list, and it seems as though it won't suck the life out of you (for 19 days anyway). :)

Happy new year to you too!!

Ashley Rae said...

Looks like a very complete list. Visiting you more should be on Erica's list since you're not going to guilt her into doing it as often.

I don't like making new year's goals. I always forget them after a few days, anyway. But I enjoy reading everyone else's!

I will stop telling your mother how much your blog offends me. Instead I will tell MY mother. ;)

allicat said...

Do you often use your high pitched cat voice when speaking to Tim? Maybe if you stop, he'll be more inclined to introduce "Bring Your Cat To Work Day".... which I think is a fabulous idea.

I kept trying to pick a favorite among your list, but I love them all.

Kristin said...

I love your list. I bet item #1 will be the most difficult to attain.

In Craig's family, they don't do New Year's Resolutions. They do New Year's Predictions. Come up with things they think will happen in the coming year, and then go back over the guesses from last year and see who had the most right.

I always like to predict things like "Kristin will go to Hawaii..."

Chris said...

Kristin what a great idea. I predict Michelle will move on from the Jonas brother to Zac Efron (wait, she is probably there already, wait again...that's me...moving on...) and cut back to 4 Diet Cokes a day. I see no changing in anything involving Fatness, unless it's MORE of Fatness.

Happy New Year everyone!

Erica said...

I thought you were posting attainable goals, taking less pictures of Fatness is not attainable for you.

allicat said...

Perhaps she'll be able to attain the goal by simply adjusting the ration of fatness:human photos..... still taking as many of fatness, but increasing the number of humans.

I know, it will be a stretch for her....

Michelle said...

I've spoken with Fatness about the issue, his response "Whatevs."

Zac E. is delish.

EEK said...

*Statutory Ogling is not illegal by it is very creepy. *Predictions are a lot more entertaining than resolutions. *I thought Fatness was people. *Guilt is my favorite emotion.

PA-lurker said...

If this is an offensive blog, then I present myself to be offended. I am a big fan of First Seat First Row. Even more than Perez Hilton.

Next time we talk, I want to hear the cat voice. You can whisper high-pitched nothings into the receiver.

PA-lurker said...

p.s. I'll fight you for Zac Efron.

Michelle said...

I will arm wrestle you.