New Year Resolutions

For 2011 I will:

Completely focus on my prime time tv watching, no texting.

Cut back to 3 hours of iPad time a day.

I will give JLo and that other guy a chance.

Put away my down payment for a "lifestyle lift."

Consider one of those cell phones designed for the elderly with the huge numbers.

Find more Jon Hamm fan sites.

Accept the fact that my breasts are now looking like sad dinner plates.

Come to terms with the fact that exercising was created solely to make middle aged women feel guilty, just like most religions.

Continue to wear down Tim with my arguments about why I need another DVR.

Convince myself that greasy microwave popcorn is healthy because it's a whole grain.

Hope that John Travolta and Tim McGraw will stop thinking their wigs are fooling us.

Stop my unhealthy habit of pretending I live inside a MadMen episode.

So there it is bitches, a totally achievable list. I turn half a century this year and I am slowly coming to terms with it, which is why I refuse to think about my saggy knees or my aching elbow joints.

Happy New Year.


Chris said...

Get DirecTV Michelle! You can have DVR on every set for free. At least right now you can.

I totally count popcorn as a whole grain.

A very doable list, I must agree.

Anonymous said...

Uh, about the lifestyle lift? Don't do it. There have been so many lawsuits. It's a half assed face lift that only lasts a couple months.

Kristin said...

There are a lot of "coming to terms with" type items on your list. I'm still living in denial and don't want to accept many of these things. Such as the dinner plate situation. Sad for all of us. Its just plain wrong.

Erica said...

Very good list. You should add "Take Erica to Smashburger."

allicat said...

Sad dinner plates... LOL.... sad, but I can relate.

Michelle said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Michelle said...

I just went to smash burger last night, too bad you weren't with me.

I just finished reading "35 Symptoms of Menopause" and I have about 34 of them. Dinner plate breasts was around number 7.

Chris said...

What was the one symptom you didn't have?

Ashley Rae said...

lol... awesome list. I have full faith in you that you will be able to accomplish all of them. And more.