3.10.2008

Before I Die



I felt it would be appropriate to carry on with my thesis of old age. I feel my mortality, not just in the way my uterus is but a shriveled cranberry, but really an overall sensation of "I probably have 15 good years left."

Here is my list of things I want to do before I die:

I want to scrub in at a hospital, don surgical gloves and do that backward walk through the swinging door with my hands in the air.

I want to quietly yell “I’ve got you covered!” as I carefully lower my weapon in my crouching position.

I want to make a chocolate soufflé, a Christmas goose, Yorkshire pudding and a very dry Martini with an olive in it.

I want to go to China and play with the pandas.

I want to go off on all the retarded people in my life.



I want to walk the cobbled streets of Florence again and sit at a café drinking a hot cappuccino in a white cup and saucer and yell "È un bell'uomo" at all handsome men within 3 feet of me. (translation: you are a handsome man)

I want to go to Bora Bora.


I want to see a Broadway Play on Broadway.

I want someone to come into my dressing room and say “5 minutes to live camera Ms. Hampton”

I want to roll around in a pile of baby tigers.

I want to high five Steve Nash.


I want to slowly wipe down the barrel of a gun and carefully return it to my holster as I turn on my heel.

I want to ride around on those airport golf carts in a cap and honk loudly as I careen through crowds.

I want someone to say “Ms Hampton your limousine is waiting”

I want to throw my sweaty head back and gulp down Gatorade like I’m a real athlete, then do that thing where they wipe their mouths with the back of their hand.

I want to wear a whistle around my neck and throw a jump ball in the air.

This completes my list, what are some of yours?

13 comments:

Allicat said...

LOL... you are too funny. I don't know how I or anyone could top that list. But I'll give it some thought and get back to you. I do want to be sitting in that Italian café shouting at the handsome men :)

Chris said...

I'll bet the limo one and the Nash one could be crossed off your list in one (expensive) evening maybe??

And maybe Tim could help out with some of the firearm fantasies??

Lord, yes, Florence, as well as Venice, London, Scotland, and Rome.

I would like to:

Pet a tiger
See one of my ridiculous celebrity boy crushes in person
Go ghost hunting with all that night vision equipment hububbery

BE THIN!

Michelle said...

Alli, I await your list.

Chris, GHOST HUNTING. I have no words.

Fussy sis said...

You read books with C-3PO on the cover.

Shut it.

Ashley Rae said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Ashley Rae said...

That is an amazing list... I love it. I nearly fainted when I saw that picture of the beach houses. THAT is my dream vacation spot.

As well as many of the things on your list, I'd need to add a few to mine- such as:

Back-pack through the Amazon

Back-pack through Europe

Go on an African Safari

Ride an elephant

Make like Jane Goodall and chill with the monkeys

Scuba dive

Become a famous singer/song writer

Visit the moon

Chase a rainbow

And I'm with you and my mom- I'll be there at the Italian Cafe.

Michelle said...

Ashley that is a very complete list...you are obviously adventuresome.

It's decided, we will all go to Italy and whistle/cat call the men...they are amazingly handsome

EEK said...

I'd like to hear one of my teenages say "I love you Mom".

Oh, and please, don't let them bury me in Texas.

Michelle said...

Would you rather be buried in Holbrook?

lmm1969 said...

I would LOVE to be a big, black woman singing back-up vocals in a Southern Baptist Church choir. Nevermind the fact that I am 5 foot, white mormon who can't sing!

That is my ultimate before I die wish!

Ashley Rae said...

Happy Birthday!! Does this make you want to hurry and start checking everything off your list?

Thanks for being my mother's breath of fresh air :)

Michelle said...

lmm1969 LOL

Ashley, your mother has been my counselor, psychologist and bishop many a time.

acaseofcot said...

Michelle, lifestyles of the rich and the famous could use some tips from you for "high living". Those are some amazing goals...no doubt you could reach them however. Go for it. Start with Florence later in 2008 or early 2009...baby tigers by December...you'll be on target...get tickets for the NBA finals for the Nash high five and you've got it in the bag!

p.s. I'm getting very excited for this wedding of that daughter of yours! I accompanied her to her last dress fitting and she truly glows in all glory in that dress...I guess I'll see you there. It will be one amazing wedding. I love her.