People/Products/Ideas that never quite panned out

Jay McGraw's "Renovate My Family"

"The Gayle King Show"

The Yugo

Aerosol Toothpaste

The Poncho

Justin Guarini's screen career

JC Chavez' solo career

Dunkleman

Garlic Cake in a jar

and last but certainly not least:

Zach and Chad's "Mobile Car Wash"

Holbrook: Gateway to the Petrified Forest

I’ve been going through old scrapbooks and photo albums, this has caused childhood reflection during my young years in Holbrook. The following are some of my favorite recollections.

· Chasing the mosquito fogging truck. This consisted of a flatbed truck with some sort of greasy machinery attached at the back where toxic fumes emitted to kill mosquitoes. I found chasing this slow moving truck on my standard-issue pink girls Schwinn, with tassels and plastic white front basket, immensely fun.

Me: “Hey Mom, I’m going to go out and chase the Agent Orange spewing mosquito truck for awhile.’

Mom: “Ok hon, just be careful, it’s getting dark outside.”

This would explain my stunted growth and carnival midget sized hands and feet.

· Swimming at Hensley’s pool. There were 2 pools in our fair town, one was the municipal urine pool, the other, Hensley’s backyard diving pool with cover and pink slide. This was like the Celestial Kingdom of pools circa 1965. I nearly drowned in this pool if it were not for Donna, who happened to see me lying at the bottom of the pool in my snappy one piece catalog ordered JC Penny swim suit.

Me: “Hey mom, I’m going to go swimming even though I have had no formal swimming lessons and arm floaties weren’t invented yet, and I will be alone.”

Mom: “Ok hon, be home for dinner.”

· Going next door to find Barbara's mom's Vodka bottles, kinda like hide and seek.

Me: “Mom I'm going over to Barbara's her mom is passed out again and we want to find her bottles, her older brothers are there too, last time they asked me to pull down my pants and I did.”

Mom: “What? Ok, but clean your room first.”

Over and Under

I have compiled a short list of what I deem
OVERRATED


and
UNDERRATED


Overrated/Underrated

Starbucks/Folgers

day spas/hammocks

acrylic nails/Lee Press On

movie stars/visionaries, healers, poets

organic/preservatives

designer jeans/elastic waistbands

Botox/wrinkles

tall and lanky/short and compact

Applebees neighborhood restaurant/pot stickers from TGIF

dogs/cats

Clinique/Jergens

What are yours?

...and God created Fatness

My cat is Fatness.
I came by him through a forfeiture and a lie. The forfeiture by my daughter the lie to my husband. "I will only keep him for the weekend" the weekend has lasted 5 years. He is the best cat that I have ever owned, a far cry from "Mr. French" who peed in my bed while I was asleep, or the 2 dogs I owned that barked incessantly and ate my shoes. Cats should be worshipped, I pointed this out to Tim (my husband) backing up my statement by reminding him that cats were worshipped in Egypt, his reply "they were all high on opium." Cats do not get the praise they deserve, people are scared of them (Mrs. Call) or put them in the category with crazy old single women. Fatness greets me every morning, quietly waiting at my door, and greets me every evening when he hears my car in the garage. He does these tasks without slobbering or barking or begging for attention. He eats his Iams sparingly and is clean and dainty. He lets me adorn him with silly objects. He has learned hand signals and knows when I don't want him sitting in my lap, when I gently raise my hand in a "stop" sign he leaves. I could go on but I will save Fatness' healing powers for another post.

Shrimp

Erica and Chris, here it is.

My blog title refers to K-4th grade where I sat for the class pictures because I was, yes, the shortest one in the class. We were lined up against a wall, execution style, while the teacher measured us. No measuring needed with me, the teacher simply said, "Michelle upfront!" It was in 4th grade that Jackie joined my class. I loved Jackie because she was an inch shorter than me and mildly weird. It was like the short fairy granted me one year of not being teased for being a "shrimp." Well that year Jackie sat in the first seat, first row.