Things I Know For Sure

Oprah in her holy wisdom did a "Things I Know For Sure" list regularly. Her list and my list differ a bit:

I would like to slap this mug so hard his moles fly off.

My ratio of cellulite to muscle. 100:1

Emma Stone is one lucky B.

The Taiwanese are rock stars. Hello Kitty Terminal. I would pack a lunch and make it a day.

Menopause sucks.

Ryan Gosling is too school for cool. Who else can pull off the sockless loafer and bring a dog onto a talk show, a dog with a mohawk and wearing a sock for no apparent reason.

I'm not sure who is having more hot flashes right now, me or Phoenix.

I miss him. Damn you Matthew Weiner and your contract negotiations.

That Erica and Zach need to get a little more creative in their photography.


Sissy said...

LOLOL I just snorted Pepsi One out my nose at that list.

That picture! I think you and Tim need to re-enact that, who needs the pregnant belly.

Something I know for sure:I want to kiss Tadd on right on that mouth as much as you want to smack those moles off of Jess.

Erica said...

lol this is a very comprehensive list. I seriously HATE Jess. He is my new TV nemesis. And STOP it right now with that pregnancy picture. People are super normal.

Anonymous said...

Tadd's mouth is amazing. He has natural lip liner.

Caca I want you to paint a cat on your belly.


Ashley Rae said...

LOL. This was great. Thank you.

Allison said...

How did I miss this post! Probably because Ashley arrived with family in tow and stayed for a wonderful week :)

Love the post. No idea who that kid in the top pic is... do I want to not know?

Erica needs a creative cat belly photo. Even if it's just painted on with jelly.

Allicat said...

When are Erica and Zach having their pregnant cat portrait done?

PA-lurker said...

SYTYCD is the only "reality" show we watch. And we watched it with a vengance. Every time Jess would mug for the camera, we would gag. Who was voting for this twerp? As for Tadd and Marko: yum.

The list was hilarious, MH. I love your Ryan Gosling and Jon Hamm obsessions. And I love Tim for not feeling threatened. What a man.